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On Fat Thursday of 2022, Russia invaded all of Ukraine. The world was just rising to life, reaching for the first doughnut already from the height of their beds. However, these doughnuts tasted strange.
Chewing the fluffy, soft cake, the comfortable 21st century man re-evaluated his so-far 21st century existence. A thick marmalade leaked out with the next bite. As his teeth ripped through the yeasty sponge, the red ooze spilled over his robe, ruining the entire morning. The confectioner had ladled far too much of the over-sweetened filling into the hero of the day, which only splattered on all sides, leaving only an unappetizing, dry crater in its wake. No doughnut to start the day right. All that was left was to lick off the icing and devour the failed cake.
Attempt #2: A snow-covered, perfect ball, slowly rotating in the fingers. This time the man did not make the same mistake as before. For the doughnut hid another treasure inside it this time – a sharp advocate. There was no mention of red and sticky spots. Weighing He celebrated the moment of waiting for the coveted dopamine shot and extended it to the last moment. One second too late. A tiny blast from the nostril of the sweets amateur was enough for the powdered sugar to spray a good two meters in front of the delinquent and settle like dust on his face and body. It was not supposed to be like that. The powder particles entered the eyes, irritating them for the rest of the day.
Three times lucky. Chocolate doughnut. Nothing could disturb the harmony of celebrating Fat Thursday. Although fingers were already trembling with slight hesitation and neck muscles seemed to be constantly tense. The mouth was dry, like that of a thirsty dog, but it was not the thirst for water that was the issue here. The man was hungry for a golden, soft donut, with a crunchy crust and a delicious filling. He demanded an explosion of the whole range of flavors, the ubiquitous sweetness broken by the aftertaste of yeast and oil. There was no way to allow even a hint of anxiety to creep into the experience. Not on THIS day. Cheat-day, the day of donuts, kinds of sugared fritter, the last Thursday of the carnival. Just NO. Deep breath in. Chocolate. It had no right not to come out, but not without a doubt, what a person dreamed of happened. So: a skilled hand movement, opening the mouth, charging the space between the esophagus and the teeth with a fair amount of calories, closing, chewing, biting, jerking, grinding and… nothing. Emptiness. No trace of the sweet mystery, the surprise came, yes, but it was not supposed to cause disappointment…
They say, the worst donuts of the year are those on Fat Thursday. On the only day of the year when a multitude of people suddenly remember the existence of this fried baked good at all. Wholesale, national frying is not conducive to taking care of the unique, sweet taste. However, Fat Thursday Anno Domini 2022 proved to be a record-breaking one in terms of disappointment with the forbidden pleasure. For all the under-fried, burnt, rubbery, over-sweetened and tasteless, hollow and marmalade – stained cakes, the doughnut makers were still given the gift of surprise. An unfathomable surprise, with a hint of growing fear that could be felt with every movement of a jaw that was clumsily trying to hold 300 calories at once. This taste proved unbearable for many. To cope with this surprise, the Comfortable Man of the 21st Century reacted in two ways. For others, the Runaway People of the 21st Century, international integration, roofs over their heads, and collections of necessities were organized in the blink of an eye. A whirlwind of work, of help, of trying to tame the chaos. Thousands of calories burned. Some people did not go for strength training, they used the energy to intensify the work of their brains. How to arrange all this mess, what to plan and how to survive.
There is nothing to compare these efforts, both are equally important and needed. However, no one offered the runaways donuts… After all, they didn’t have time for Fat Thursday, maybe it needs to be organized again? Or better not to organize it ever again, since the distaste after this year’s event has lasted for 2 months and is not going to disappear? Again, as people of the 21st century, we are faced with a choice. In Poland we are unusually more united than divided. Faced with the need to re-evaluate our comfortable existence, doughnuts have been put aside. On the other hand, this is not the middle of the 20th century, no déjà vu, as Europeans we can still put everything we want into the pot. Eat donuts. Live Comfortably. Drive. Strive for.
We don’t know what will happen next, what the effects of Putin’s war will be and what the next Fat Thursday, which falls on February 16, 2023, will be. We can speculate, ponder, worry, help, act. We can hope. We can’t affect everything, but that doesn’t change the fact that we can affect most everything. People to people war, people to people good. After almost two months, no one remembers about the donuts anymore and looks forward to the next carnival. However, let’s not go to extremes, I want to stand up for these sweet sponges. It’s not the doughnuts’ fault that they are fattening, crunchy and all in oil. They were invented by man. They are not to blame for the fact that on their very day man started killing man in Ukraine. Man invented it. So let’s not condemn doughnuts to eternal damnation. Rather, let them become a sweet consolation in the murderous run of the world at the great marathon.
Article: Krystyna Szymura
English Translation: Natalia Chojnowska
Polish version here
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